By Dami Oshodi
As you prepare to walk down the aisle with your future spouse, it’s important to have an open and honest discussion about a sensitive topic – how you will navigate the relationships with each other’s mothers.
When you get married, your mother-in-law will become a permanent and important figure in your life. And your partner’s mother will take on that same role. Both of these women deserve to be welcomed into your new family with equal love, respect, and consideration.
It’s not uncommon for newlyweds to face preconceived notions or should we say general bias about the role and behavior of a mother-in-law. The kind of bias that comes with having a spouse with a mother.
Many people expect the mother-in-law to be overbearing, constantly interfering in the couple’s relationship, or competing for attention and authority within the family. For instance, there may be an assumption that the mother-in-law will insist on sitting in the front seat of the car, instead of allowing the wife to sit next to her husband. Or she may try to make decisions about the grandchildren’s upbringing without consulting the parents first. One of such examples will be a video which trended about a while ago in which one of the mothers of the couple took in her grandchild for the weekend and returned the baby with tribal marks without informing the parents prior, escalating into a serious scenario.
However, it’s important to remember that every family is unique, and not all mother-in-law relationships fit the stereotypical mold. Some mothers-in-law may be genuinely supportive, respecting the couple’s boundaries and allowing them to make their own decisions.
It’s easy for in-law relationships to become strained or complicated, but avoiding that should be a top priority for you and your partner. You must make a conscious effort to treat both mothers with the same level of care and attention.
Make it a point to regularly call, visit, and spend quality time with both of your mothers. Include them in major life events and decisions. Simple gestures like thank you messages/ notes and small gifts can also go a long way in making them feel valued. And do not forget their birthdays and other major events of such.
If either mother ever tries to cause drama or come between you and your partner, present a united front and act as one. Work together to redirect the situation with patience and diplomacy, never taking sides or shutting one mother out.
Maintaining harmonious relationships with two mother-in-laws won’t always be easy. But if you approach it with empathy, maturity, and a genuine commitment to fairness, you can ensure that both women feel respected and appreciated.
Remember, the women who raised you both are the foundations upon which your own marriage and family will be built. Honoring and respecting them is not just the right thing to do – it’s essential for your future happiness.
Treating both of your mother-in-laws with equal respect is a crucial component of a healthy, lasting marriage. So as you embark on this new chapter of your life, make a promise to your future spouse that you will do just that.
After all, they’re a package deal – and you wouldn’t have it any other way. 😉